


Shadows of Envy

by SingingCookie



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Character Study, Gen, Minor Aqua/Terra (Kingdom Hearts)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 18:58:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15869739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingCookie/pseuds/SingingCookie
Summary: Terra tried his best to give his all in everything he did. It was mostly because of his fellow Keyblade wielder. Sure, he wanted to impress their master. And he knew Ventus looked up to him a lot once he had started to come out of his shell. But it was different with Aqua. He admired her so much. He envied her too. It felt like she was leagues ahead of him in everything they did.Yeah, it had always felt that way to him.





	Shadows of Envy

**Author's Note:**

> I continue to be terrible at names, as well as summaries. But hopefully the writing itself is considerably better...?

Terra tried his best to give his all in everything he did. It was mostly because of his fellow Keyblade wielder. Sure, he wanted to impress their master. And he knew Ventus looked up to him a lot once he had started to come out of his shell. But it was different with Aqua. He admired her so much. He envied her too. It felt like she was leagues ahead of him in everything they did.

Yeah, it had always felt that way to him.

He remembered that Aqua had even been the first to be taken under Eraqus’ wing. Way back when Eraqus had asked him to come to the Land of Departure in order to nourish his potential, he had been informed that there was already another pupil about his age and that they ought to get along swimmingly. She had been reserved, but still kind when they met. So it wasn’t hard to become friends.

They had trained with wooden Keyblades that Eraqus made for them, until they managed to summon one of their own. After every practice, Terra would wander off by himself, taking care to be sure that the girl wouldn’t follow. He would alternate in practicing his technique and his attempt to call his real Keyblade. The toy lay in the grass behind him, disregarded to his eyes.

Eventually, the boy would make his way back to the castle, his jaw clenched and dragging that prop by his side. Whenever he returned, Aqua was always sitting on one of the benches along the mountain path, not too far from the steps. They would walk the rest of the way together—often in silence. She never asked what he had been doing; and even though he was certain that she hadn’t been able to follow him, he felt like she didn’t ask because she somehow already knew the reason.

It had been infuriating for him when they had been sparring and it happened. He had knocked her prop weapon away from her. There was no way for her to dodge as he hefted his own back to take another swing. She only had time to raise a hand, bracing herself for the impact. But there was a bright flash between them, and Terra felt his makeshift weapon collide with something that could not be a part of the human body—no, it couldn’t be! He drew back immediately, squinting his eyes to try to see what was happening before him.

Once the light had faded, it was unmistakable. Grasped in Aqua’s hand was her own _real_ Keyblade. Her mouth had fallen open, frozen in mid-breath, but her eyes were drinking in its metallic appearance. He felt as dumbstruck as she looked. They had a brief pause in the match so Master Eraqus could help her get used to how it felt compared to their fake ones.

Terra stood a distance away and watched; but he could only observe them for a minute before he felt his stomach tighten, so he looked away from the two. Instead, he glared at her weapon that he had knocked away earlier. It was abandoned there, dented and absolutely pointless. He opened then clenched his right hand, willing with everything he had to have his real thing appear too.

But it wouldn’t.

His heart wasn’t in the practice after that. And once they were done, he went off by himself as usual, but this time without even sparing a goodbye to his fellow pupil. He didn’t bother to practice technique that evening. _It has to come,_ he thought, clenching and unclenching his hand over and over. She couldn’t be so much better than him! He stretched his arm out desperately in front of him just the way she had done— _it has to come!_ His eyes stung until he eventually broke down, sitting on the ground with his face hidden as angry sobs overtook him.

He made his way back when it was nearly dark, his eyes rimmed red and feeling puffy. She was sitting in the same spot as always but this time she was hunched over. Her hands were covering her face and her shoulders were shaking. Terra was _livid._

He stomped over to her and his voice was hard as he asked her, “What’re you crying for?” She had finally gotten the thing they had been dreaming of. And she had done it with no effort at all! She had no reason to cry!

“I’m—sorry I…!” Her speech was so broken in her sobbing. She refused to look at him, ducking her head down even more. “I made—you—you sad!” He recoiled as she continued to speak amidst her wails. She confessed to knowing he was upset after training. She also admitted that she always knew where he went afterwards. And how hard he was working. She said she hated that he was feeling so bad. She felt like a horrible friend. Aqua shook her head after saying that, her hands pressing harder on her face as she insisted that she _was_ a horrible friend.

But no. _He_ was the horrible one. He had cried for himself—but here she was crying someone else’s tears. She was better at being a friend, too. But like everything else, this just meant he had to work harder to improve! He took her shoulders in a firm grasp. “Aqua. You’re not a horrible friend. I’m mad at myself, not at you!” His eyes were burning again. “It’s great that you got it. I just wish I did too!”

By the time they had both managed to get all their feelings out, it had grown dark. Eraqus had been beside himself when they finally got back home. But neither told him about what exactly transpired.

That wasn’t the first time Terra had been overcome with envy for her. And it definitely wasn’t the last. No, it could never be. Because Aqua was so spectacular. Sure, he was physically stronger than her. But in terms of overall skill, she surpassed him in every other way.

Her agility. It wasn’t even just comparing their speeds. Aqua was so nimble. She was able to dodge and make it look effortless, it was like she wasn’t even in battle. She was merely dancing around him. She had even learned how to cartwheel with only one hand, so she could have her Keyblade summoned and swing as soon as her feet had landed back on solid ground with no lag in between.

Her judgment. Over the years as they sparred together, it started to feel like he could never knock her off balance. She always had her mind clear and focused. And it felt, to him, like she came into every session with a plan. He never actually found out if that was the case, or if she was just very good at thinking on her feet.

Her magic. When Master Eraqus had first taught them basic magic skills, they had both struggled. He had insisted to them that it was a difficult concept for anyone in the beginning. But once Aqua gotten a taste of it, it was like she hit the ground running. The way she worked with magic was like how he had practiced his technique way back when. She wanted to understand everything about it. And damn, did her hard work show.

He had every reason to be envious of her. The feelings were just always buried under the surface, never expressed. How could he possibly let those feelings show when she was one of his closest friends? When she was always so concerned over him? Checking in to make sure that he was okay. Her light hid his darkness. His shadow was tempered when he was around her; but the second they were separated, he lost all semblance of control over it.

His envy drove him to be better. He had no idea that it would also lead to his self-destruction.

**Author's Note:**

> So I got sent these two characters with the prompt break me. Which meant I needed to write something angst-driven. This was was the result.
> 
> In all honesty I was going to end it after Terra told her he was upset about no getting it? But then I sat there and felt really dissatisfied because upon the reread for editing. It felt like I was trying to lead to something, and decided to give up partway through. Eventually I figured out where I wanted to go with it. I'm much happier with where it wound up.
> 
> Anyway, I'm just rambling now. Thank you for reading!


End file.
